


i cant help but be wrong in the dark

by brookethenerd



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, just angst basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:41:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookethenerd/pseuds/brookethenerd
Summary: philkas au in which love isnt enough





	

Sometimes, love isn’t enough. It isn’t something people like to think about, Philip included, seeing as no one ever really wants to know what comes after the Big Kiss. In the movies, the long term aftermath isn’t often seen.

Sometimes, love can’t cross all boundaries. Sometimes it just simply isn’t enough. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

That’s the saddest thing at all. That after working and fighting, the battle can’t be won. Sometimes the casualties are too high and the injuries are too deep. There are some things that a person can’t come back from, not even with the so-called power of love. Sometimes it just ends.

_“When you asked why I kissed you, back in the hospital. You didn’t just mean the one of the forehead.” Philip said, stomach clawing up his throat._

_“What?” Lukas replied, brows pulling together. It was obvious Lukas didn’t know where this was coming from._

_Philip had always been good at hiding. He’d hidden his doubts and thoughts easily. But he couldn’t hide them anymore. He needed to know. He needed to know if it was worth it, if he was right._

_“Do you regret it? Kissing me that first time?” He asked._

_The hesitation from Lukas was all he needed._

_“You do.”_

_“Philip-“_

_“Why are you dragging this out? If you don’t want it in the first place?”_

_“I want it. I want_ you _.“_

_Philip stood up, and grabbed his jacket from Lukas’  desk, pulling it on. He zipped it up and jammed his hands into the pockets, creating a barrier between them. It also prevented him from reaching for Lukas, which he thought he might do, and really didn’t want to._

_Philip has spent his whole life fighting. He’s tired. He’s so, so tired._

_Loving someone shouldn’t be this hard._

_“I don’t think we should hang out anymore.” Philip said slowly. Lukas’ face contorted at his words. He himself had used them before, but coming from Philip was different._

_Hanging out was something done between friends. And, god, they’ve never been friends. They’ve always been more. Much more._

_“Don’t do this.” Lukas said._

_Philip pressed his lips together, and averted his gaze._

_“Philip. You can’t do this.” Lukas said, getting to his feet. He looked like he wanted to move forward, to move towards Philip, but he stayed still. Like a marionette abandoned by its puppeteer, he stood in place, the life draining out of him._

_“Im sorry.” Philip said, keeping his voice steady. He made a move for the door, but Lukas closed the distance between them, and pushed the door shut._

_“Philip.” He said, pleading._

_“Why are you doing this?” He asked. Philip lifted his eyes to Lukas’ for a moment, before closing them. He took a breath, and opened his eyes. The thought that had waded in his mind for days now sat on the tip of his tongue, and he finally let it out._

_“I ruined you for everyone else, but you didn’t ruin me.” Philip said._

_Lukas took a step back, shaking his head, lips parting._

_“In the hospital. You told me that-you told me that you-“ Lukas stammered._

_“That you loved me.” He said. Philip gnawed on the inside of his cheek, doing his best to keep his face impassive._

_“I didn’t mean it.” He said._

_And Lukas’ strings were clipped. Like the breath was knocked from his lungs, he took a half step back._

_“You’re lying.” He said. Philip shook his head._

_“I’m not.”_

_“You are.”_

_“I’m sorry, Lukas.” He said. Then he turned towards the door, and Lukas let him._

_He turned the knob, and stepped out into the hall, and made his way down the stairs._

_And Lukas let him._

_Part of him, a small part, a part he didn’t want to admit, wanted Lukas to come after him, convince him to stay. Maybe he’d tell him he loved him too, or he’d promise to be better._

_But Philip knew that Lukas wouldn’t. Because Lukas had his pride, and Philip had his._

_Lukas let him walk away, and Philip didn’t turn back._


End file.
